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Subject: small world

Hallo Girls

I once again realised this morning just how small the world is and at any point in time we'll get into contact with someone who will tell us "oh by the way, so-and-so sends her/his regards".

I was standing on the busstop this morning and one of the girls at the stop says to me - Martiens sends his regards. So I say to her thanks but how do you know Martiens and how did my name got mentioned? She said that Martiens always works on her car and he then said to her that he knows a girl staying there in the same area and that he also works on her car and her name is Natalie. The best part is that Martiens knew me since before my transitioning.

What he portrayed was total acceptance as well as making a total switch wrt my gender. He could easily have said "oh yes there's a girl living in the same area who used to be a guy" but he didn't.

What I'm trying to say is - accepting yourself completely for the woman you are and other people also will accept you for the woman you are and they will make the complete gender switch and forget what used to be portrayed and in a shorter period of time we might

What I furthermore wish to say is even though I went through the transitioning in the more difficult manner by transitioning in the community I grew up, I do not have to hide. I do not have to hide my friends who are in the same boat as myself. I do not have to live a
life of stealth at all. I think my life as it is now is so much more un-complicated than if I would have underwent the transitioning and then started a life elsewhere where no-one knows me for then the life of stealth begins. Then you forsake your whole past life
including your family and old friends and colleagues who also went through the transitioning with you. Even though we might not realise it at the time, having those colleagues around during the transitioning phase and interacting with them throughout the transitioning is so valuable because they make remarks. We tend to think those remarks are sommer rude sometimes but thinking about it makes me realise those remarks also served a valuable purpose.

Valuable because it has put me through the RLT phase with flying colors. And I think we must remember for the colleagues it also is a RLT phase because they also are going through a transitioning phase, although a little different from ours.

I see living a live in stealth to be living a lie, which I would not be able to live again as I have lived a lie right up to the transitioning stage.

This is just my thoughts. This is just my experience throughout the transitioning process and now just about 2years post. Each of experience things in an own unique way because each of us are unique.


Natalie Dominique

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