Founder and CEO of Gender DynamiX
Why is it usually around a coffee table that the most interesting theories get colour and perspective?
Since Gender DynamiX and I started walking hand in hand on this path, the journey to Genderland took its turns and made some stops. It is almost like the discovery down the rabbit hole, and Gender DynamiX became the Wizard of Oz.
“It’s as if I want to define myself from the other side of the kaleidoscope, looking back into it. Like a reversed way. Like every thing in my life. I approach gender also from a slightly different angle to others” - I heard myself say to my friend today, when sharing coffee at a lovely place on Beach Road in Sea Point.
For the past two months I was intensely searching for the reason behind the reason. As if after all this time I still need to validate the rationale for the existence of Gender DynamiX. What is in it for me – gender wise, so to speak? I know I don’t want to transition. I am happy to be “trapped” in this female body. If I had to transition, I think I would become the most OTT drag queen Cape Town ever saw!
But somehow as I did some soul searching, pink tinted glasses on or not, I realised there is something more to this. “Is it possible that I want to meet people who, within one person, one energy has the biggest variety of diversity possible” I said to my friend. Can it be that I will only be satisfied in my search for energies to surround myself with, once I found the travelling partner with the ultimate-diversity-within-one? Is there such a person, such a “place”? And if there is such a “place” can it ever be the place of arrival – or will that also keep on moving? Like pushing boundaries?
“Yes”, came the reply. Like the old cliché of people boxing each other and themselves, people also, on a continuous basis, look to see where they fit in, in which box. Somehow we all want a box, even if it is a tailor-made one. Maybe I am a gender-diversity-chaser. Us gender-diversity-chasers stand in front of each box, try it for a while. Sometimes some of those boxes even fit for a while. But along the line we either get bored, once in any given box, and sometimes it feels as if more than one box fits.
Now I realise that every individual wants to be unique, and tries to be. To the point that we are all the same in our uniqueness. I do believe that many people at some point, experience the ability to fit more than one box, or is that just in my world, en route to Genderland? When speaking here about the ability to fit more than one box at a time, I suppose there are different levels of that too.
I came to the conclusion today, that even we, gender-diversity-chasers find a way to seek each other out. So does there exist a gender-diversity-chaser box too? And how do we find each other? My gender-diversity-chaser guru friend replied that, yes, we do find each other. He for example found a boyfriend recently who is “just like the other pea in a pod” for him.
“Yes” I replied to him, “I guess you are right, you had to search for your boyfriend until you found him in New York!
Alice is still walking around, with her pink tinted glasses and wearing a funny skirt hoping to find some more answers... some more gender-diversity-chaser friends. And while doing that, she will keep the Gender DynamiX fire burning.
