Foyles

One complete day in London was devoted to Foyles.  A huge bookstore: Think about a very large exclusive books, and multiply that into five floors.  Then within that store is a department, not only a shelf, a whole department, named Silver Moon, and that is the sexuality and gender section!  Now you can see why we spent a whole day there! It was to die for.  I literally unpacked their whole transgender shelves, sat on the floor, and went through all the books, one by one!  The next step was to sort them into four groups: the can’t go without’s, the really must have’s, the must have’s and the nice to have’s. (The fifth group, stayed on the shelves – they were past their expiry date!)

This was a whole process, as you can imagine.  I thought that by employing this method, I could at least create guidelines of which ones to take, and which ones to leave.  At some stage I had to start making decisions.  I couldn’t.  The next way to try help make the decision, was, ok, admit it, my dear, beloved partner started adding Rand values to them, and we decided on an overall amount to be spent.  Still the cut-off system didn’t solve the problem completely for me, as I could only take the “can’t go without’s” and a few of the “really must have’s” We could not even touch the “must have’s”.  Where in South Africa in one bookstore can you pick and choose Trans books to the value of R1400, and leave more than double that quantity behind?! 
Needless to say with luggage MUCH heavier than we arrived with, and a femme in high heel boots,  it was no mean feat. It now entailed walking the whole way back from where we stayed, to the station, to go via three subways to Heathrow.

If you’re stupid – you will carry heavy loads.

I mean, what happened to Amazon.com? Don’t they exist anymore?

Gender Trust

In Brighton, a coastal town, south of London, is the “home” of Gender Trust.  A very helpful organisation, who aims to educate, assist and be of advice to the transgender community and broader public, focusing on the workplace.  Gender Trust will assist both the Trans employee and the employer, including all co-workers to understand the whole process of transitioning.  They advise, train and evaluate the whole process.  They will make recommendations to the employer, and also help to alter company policies to be more gender friendly.

Taken from the back of their magazine: “We also provide guidance and information for those who may encounter gender issues in the course of their work, including employers, social workers, welfare workers, the media and the medical profession….. The Trust has a membership society for those who seek information and befriending.  This Self-Help Organization includes Associates who join for information or as helpers.  Members receive a quarterly magazine and there is a Confidential Contact System with regional officers as contacts”.

All in all, this is a very useful contact I made and I encourage anybody to visit their website, as it is very informative!

Brighton, the day we visited ? Seen as the Gay capital of Britain, as 22% of the residents are Gay/Lesbian

Support Group Visits

Before we went over to the UK, as part of the planning – I searched the net for various support groups in the greater London area.  Then I drew up a standard letter, explaining that we were going to visit London, gave the time frame and said that we were interested to know if their group was having a meeting during the dates we planned to be in the UK.  The ones who replied was my obvious choice of destination! 

I’m going to discuss briefly the three support groups we visited, and the way they are unique and different from each other.

Another name – Hosted by MCC North London

Although this support group is hosted by and in the building where the Church also worships, it is not only restricted to Church members, but rather an outreach-service of the congregation.  This group is attended by people who find themselves at any space along the gender continuum, partners, and interested allies.  Any members of the Church are also welcome. They meet every second week on a Thursday evening 20:00. 

T Boys

T Boys is a group that meets once a month, on every third Saturday evening at an upper room of a night club in Sheffield.  As the name indicates, it is for the guys, and every now and then, partners are also welcome.  Most of the time they have a specific topic of discussion.  Everyone then reads up, researches and bring all relevant info on the chosen topic with them.  The evening we attended,  the topic was chest surgery.  All members then had a chance to say which doctor they went to, they brought pieces of information, eg. contact details, informational leaflets and whatever they found applicable.  Everyone also (if comfortable with doing so) showed their operation results, and different surgery methods and scars were also discussed. Bedside manners of the surgeons were also important along with after care service.  Their whole experience with regards to NHS (National Health Service) was shared.  For the ones who chose the Private route, costs were compared.

T Time monthly

This was also a very interesting meeting, in Edinburgh, Scotland.  A drop-in afternoon, on a Saturday, held once a month by LGBT health, an organisation as the name indicates for the whole community.  What make this one special, and gives it a very warm and welcoming feel, is the fact that the “top structure” staff of the organisation were really hands-on.  It started at one in the afternoon, until five and for the entire time, all the counselors and staff were present for the Trans folk and their partners who came and went as they wished.  The aim in doing this is to allow everyone to feel most welcome.  They emphasize the fact that for many people this monthly gathering is their only safe space to socialize.  It felt like visiting with  someone in their home.  The whole venue was set-up in a home-style with coffee, tea, biscuits and snacks available.  People could move around, from the main lounge area, to a side room and also to the garden.  In other words throughout the whole afternoon, you could have a relaxing chat with each and everyone, be it a counselor, a staff member, anyone of their volunteer workers or transfolk, as well as their SOFFA’s.    By the end of the afternoon, it felt as if you had been at a home of a friend amongst other friends for the day.

Science Museum

What a nice surprise!  We did a bit of the touristy thing, and went to a museum. I mean, what is an overseas holiday without museums!

And there, right there on the fourth floor of the science museum was a whole section, dedicated to gender, chromosomes, and all those sort of things!  The museums there are a lot different from ours – much more interactive.  Or maybe it is just a long time since I visited a museum in our country.  Nevertheless, that’s not the point! The point is, right there and then, one could start playing with gender, and experiment with yourself!  All of a sudden, I could see on a computer screen how I would look if I wanted to be male, and in an older version, or younger.  Asian, darker or lighter of skin color (don’t know how much lighter the computer programme could let me go, but anyway, the option was there)!.

Now this was not exactly part of the planned research, but a pleasant surprise!  As my friend told me the universe wants me to be of service to the Trans community - it really follows me…….